This is goodbye

Dear past lover,

I am sorry. 

I am sorry that you had to waste your time on me. 

I'm sorry for all the mistakes I made because I will admit that I was part of the problem. 

I'm sorry that honesty is not my best policy and that being truthful with those closest to me will never be my strength. 

What I will not apologize for is not trying hard enough because I did try my best. 

I tried to bite my lip and do what was best for you, always. 

I tried to let you be yourself and not hold you back, but in letting you fly I ended up being your launching platform. 

I was not here to only push you off so you could come back in the night to tell of the adventures I was not allowed to have. 

I too wish to fly. 

You should know that I have not said anything untrue about you to anyone, but maybe you could consider that it was you, not me, that made everyone believe that you were to blame. 

You will miss me. 

Know that it is okay to miss me, but it is not okay to want me back. 

You see, to get stuck trying to desperately hold on to something already gone is maddening

and I am already gone.

Missing me is normal, but I want and need you to move on. 

Do what makes you happy and figure out who you are and who you want to be. 

I do not wish to erase you. 

If I did that, I would be erasing part of myself and I love who I am becoming. 

I know you will never admit that you were wrong and that's okay. 

But you were. 

You say I threw away everything for someone else. 

I think you misunderstand. 

I did not leave because I desired somewhere different. 

I left because I could no longer stay. 

I did not know where I was to go and still don't. 

I also know that you will never understand or maybe accept this. 

I know you were happy. You see, that was always my goal. 

The problem was never your happiness though. 

Here is what you need to know. 

I meant everything I said. 

Everything. 

You must learn to become a man and take responsibility for what you do and even more than that, take steps to change. 

You will one day meet someone else who will make you feel the same way that I did. 

Treat her better. 

Think about your actions. 

Do not get comfortable. 

Do what makes her feel loved because no amount of flowers can replace late night talks.

Listen to her. 

Really listen. 

Do not get distracted because you have to chase what you want. 

Know that it is okay to forget me. 

It is okay to forget the memories we have. 

Years from now you won't feel how you feel now. 

It will be okay. 

I want the best for you.

I want you to become a great man and I am sorry I will not be there to see it.

Be happy. 

Move on with your life and enjoy it.

Be careful.

Goodbye